To be honest . . .

I'm quite aware that I'm not perfect. I have my problems, and I think a lot of them stem from fear.

To be honest, I don't like the idea of having no control over my life. I know that God knows how to handle my life much better than I ever could, but I'm still afraid.

To be honest, I'm afraid of failure. I struggle with depression constantly. As a result, I'm very sensitive to mistakes. I feel like I let people down a lot, and I especially feel like I let down God a lot.

To be honest, I'm afraid of showing emotion. Starting in middle school, my anger was out of control. I would snap at people with little provocation. Once I gained control of my anger, I felt like I'd lost the ability to show my emotions. I can't tell you how many times I've been having a great day when someone asks me what's wrong. I've found that during emotional peaks and valleys, I'm blank. 90% of the time, I'm consciously smiling. By that, I mean I have to actually think about smiling. There are very few people who can make me smile with shame or fear.

"Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation."
-Isaiah 12:2

-Chris