How deep does the rabbit hole go?

The harder I slip, the harder it is to get up.

Depression is a vicious circle. One negative thought leads to a cacophony of negative thoughts, imagined scenarios, and self-pity. A great day can quickly turn into a horrible night because of one subconscious reminder of unpleasant circumstances. A new day can bring a new sense of hope, but a night can bring a seemingly endless feeling of hopelessness and despair.

One problem I personally have with depression is that I don't want others to pity me, so I keep it to myself. I try to stay positive and keep hope, but I can't even focus my thoughts. My mind races; focusing on everything and nothing at the same time. I'll find myself thinking about multiple things at the same time, if that's something that's comprehensible. I feel every emotion at once, yet I feel blank and apathetic. It's easy to think of a positive memory in a negative light; bringing an unpleasant, foreign mix of feelings.

I once heard that when you're flat on your back, you have nowhere to look but up. However, I feel like I'm groping in the dark. I want God's help, but I don't feel His presence. I can't do this much longer. Hope is in short supply.

-Chris